So. . .finals progress. But not really, because I’ve only had one, and I have four more. My schedule is sort of loaded toward the end. Consequently, I’ve been dividing my time between manically studying and just as manically looking for something else to think about. So I conducted an independent study; a social experiment, you might say. On Facebook. I asked people what they’d do with a pet monster. The answers I received led me to the following conclusions:
1. Monsters are no longer valued primarily for their scariness, but for their warm fuzziness. I believe this conceptualization is a recent evolution, helped along by Pixar, Stephanie Meyer and Sesame Street. . . also, possibly, by my use of the phrase “pet monster”. It might have been more scientific to say “monster under your control”, I suppose. Or “monster loyal to you”. Oh well.
Rowrr!
2. Boys and girls have very different ideas of what monsters should be good for. Boys seem to have a more textbook definition; pillage, destroy, stomp and generally make a big mess with. Girls seem to want monsters to do things for them that we frequently wish our boys would do – but only when we want them to: cuddle, protect, offer back massages and generally be big, fuzzy, warm puppies (who can give massages). Ludo comes to mind. So, um. . .I could go into a long and tangled Freudian/Societal analysis that I am entirely unqualified to offer, but I won’t. I’ll just leave it at a couple of juxtapositions:
monster/stomper. monster/cuddler. monster/man. . . let it not be said that women are the only ones battling unrealistic societal expectations. . .
If I had a pet monster
If I had a pet monster
Social research indicates
If I had a pet monster
We would be the very best mates
(girl part)
It would keep me warm with a fuzzy green hug
Play scrabble with me on the living room rug
Walk me to work and keep the rain off my bike
And I’d feed it all the people that I don’t like
If I had a pet monster
We’d be friends, it isn’t Freudian
But If I had a pet monster
It’s true, I might not need a man. . .
(boy part)
Mine would be a bearodactyl
Built to destroy, not as tactile
We’d rule the oceans from our island Ritz
Build Tokyo models and then smash ‘em all to bits
(bridge/both)
He’d give back massages and teach kids french
Make awesome margaritas with a thousand pound bench
Be my trick or treating buddy and my christmas tree
Because Monsters, they can be anything
If I had a pet monster
it would be the kind with dragon wings
If I had a pet monster
He’d also help me with budgeting
Because the greatest thing about monsters, yeah
greatest thing about monsters
Is that monsters, they can be anything
Especially when they are named George!
Needs more C’thulu! Seriously though, very nice! A perfect addition to the J&S repetoire (sp?)!
What would I do with C’thulu?
21 Jumpstreet reruns on Hulu!