I’m awake. I will probably be happier tomorrow if I sleep soon. But I probably won’t. Sleep soon, that is. My happiness is, always, unpredictable and dependent on a all kinds of weird things.
1. New Moon. Yes, I’m going. Yes, probably incognito. And yes, I prefer Jacob. Mock all you want. I will now try to salvage some remnants of my pride as an emancipated woman and point out that Edward is an overbearing, bossy prig who wins every argument because he’s older and stronger and I wholeheartedly disagree with many of the Disney Princess values that un-subtly shine through the books. I also disagree with the craptacular production values of the last film. (and I use that term loosely)
That being said, I’m still going.
2. Nuts. I must crack walnuts tomorrow so I can make pancakes on Saturday. . .I hope they crack nicely instead of exploding everywhere. I hope I don’t hammer my thumb again.
3. Church. Should I become an Episcopalian? Does it really matter what I claim as a denomination when I haven’t been to a service since last Christmas? It seems to matter, because Catholicism has suddenly become painful to be a part of. Better to think of nuts.
4. Nuts. I think God invented walnuts just for people like me. People who can’t make their brains be quiet, and who need something picky and demanding of all their attention to focus all their energy. So God gave me black walnuts and scrabble. And Scott.
5. Halloween. I put up a hankie-ghost. It pretty much just looks like a hankie. But maybe that’s what ghosts look like, when you can see them at all. Like an old handkerchief that went through the wash with something red at some point, draped over a walnut (they’re everywhere) and hanging by a twisty tie to the porch light.
Next time you see one, ask it what it wants. That’s how you help them cross over.
But don’t ask the one on our porch – it’s a fake. In fact, after Halloween I’m going to crack the walnut and eat its little spectral brains. Or put them in pancakes.
6. Hankies. Maybe I’ll wash it with bleach. The whole hankie concept is kinda gross. It’s like saving snot and sweat in your pocket all day.
7. Louie Armstrong. Ew. I hope he never blew his nose in the one he was always wiping his face with. I guess he’s allowed to do whatever he wants. Privileges of being awesome. I bet if he came back as a ghost he’d get a whole sheet, not just a hankie. . . although a hankie would be sort of appropriate. Maybe a really, really big one. But Satch probably went straight to heaven.
8. I’m pretty sure dogs go there, too. Someone once explained to me that you only go to heaven if you have a soul, and you only have a soul if you have self-awareness and thought, and since dogs aren’t self-aware beings, they don’t get to go to heaven. Psh. To that I say this: I know a lot of self aware people that are awful. Plus, heaven is supposed to be great. How can it be that good without dogs? I wonder what the Episcopalians think about that?
9. I’m finally getting sleepy. Boring myself. Rox looks very comfy on my bed.
10. I need to crack some nuts tomorrow. . .
Look out Episcopalians!